If be honest, I am quiet shy person. I always feel nervous if I have to chat with some people I hardly know, it is hard for me to make new contacts. For example, I have one very good pediatrician who can consult on the phone even on weekend. And first several times when I had questions, I asked my mom to call the doctor, so I wouldn’t have to talk to him although I need it.
Social anxiety is a common mental illness. It affects millions of people all over the world yearly. There are a lot of reasons to start worry. But there are some ways to fix it. I know I am not alone on the way of coping the problem. And neither are you. So here are some tips.
- The better you look, the better you feel
This is the most obvious thing for me. Beautiful hairstyle, healthy teeth, clear skin are great helpers for confidence. I felt it sharply. Recently I had a problem with my front tooth. I’d lost a tiny piece of it. And my daughter fell ill at the same time. So I had no opportunity to fix the tooth and my smile looked terrible for two weeks. And when I finally had fixed it, it felt like I am super star, I even started smiling more often.
The other thing about appearance is the way we dress. Nice dress makes any woman feel better. If you don’t feel like, you still may bring some more confidence in your life. Wear beautiful lingerie. No one sees it, but you know that you have a secret weapon under your usual outfit.
- Have your own coping strategy
Any big, or even average occasion can make you shiver. And the closer it comes, the more nervous you become. It Is hard to fight with the anxiety. Ad it is important to understand that coping with the problem doesn’t mean an introvert should transform to an extravert. It only means you should save up some skills.
The necessity of having small talks makes socially anxious persons suffer run away. But some practice and you will become a master of conversation. Here are some pieces of advice which helped me a lot:
- Evolve first questions with how and why. You can change simple questions and small answers to nice chat. Just ask “Why did this happen?”, “How do you do it?” etc.
- Ask for some advice. Everyone likes to be an expert in someone else’s eyes. Especially this tip works with parenting and school-related themes.
- You don’t need to talk much. Let your vis-à-vis talk and listen. Listening is important too. I do that all the time and some of my acquaintances believe me to be very communicative person.
It doesn’t mean my advice will suit you perfectly, but keep trying different approaches to find your own. And soon you will be able to feel more comfortable with other people.
- Be attentive and give reward to yourself
Attention to your own feelings and giving names to your emotions can help you to see the temporality of your unpleasant feelings. You will see that, even if you feel uncomfortable and unconfident at the moment, the moment will pass. Writing down your feelings and thoughts before and after a social obligation can also help you incline to your comfort wave.
If you make diarizing your constant practice, you can go back to your notes and see the progress you’ve made. In the middle of some event or big occasion, look around and see yourself communicating with other people. Note one important thing, you are doing OK.
We all are different. And not all of us find socializing a pleasant and energizing experience. Many people, including myself, like quiet atmosphere with glass of wine and a nice film. If you feel the same about socializing events, there is a chance you need to recharge your batteries after them. Rewarding yourself for attending all those events and coping with your social duties is a great way to make them less terrible and scary. Plan some joy for yourself right after social occasion. You will be looking forward to it and this pleasant expectation will brighten up the unpleasant time.